Just Like The Ones I...um...Used to...Well...It's Not All About The Gifts

I've received kind comments from readers who have mentioned how much they enjoyed reading my post about how I turned a portion of my home into a pseudo-historic house.  I've also received the same from those who enjoy my writings on our family Christmas traditions and how they'd like to do something similar with their own families but are not quite sure how,  and that's what I will concentrate on this week.

Just remember this:  less is more and more is less.  And--you need to be willing to at least give change a try.

Buy! Buy! Buy!  Even in the 1770s!
(my own meme I created)

Some might be a little afraid,  though,  to change things up,  for most of us have been sold the story of BUY!  BUY!  BUY!!,  and Santa,  Rudolph,  and Frosty have the decoration market cornered,  because,  you know,  that's what Christmas is all about,  Charlie Brown.

"OMG!!!  Our kids won't love us anymore if we don't get them everything they want!!!!"

Yeah...heh heh heh...maybe I can  help:

From the time my wife and I married back in the mid-1980s I wanted to have an old-time Christmas.  Not necessarily just like the ones I used to know from my own youth,  but from the time of my multiple-great grandparents.  And I worked at it,  slowly,  looked and listened by visiting historic places,  continued to research  (still do),  and it grew every year from there.

One of the first things I was taught was to stop centering this joyful holiday around gifts.  Now,  I'm not saying to not have presents  'neath the tree for Christmas morning at all,  but to spread the wonderfulness that is Christmas out so that gifts do not become the focal point.  I know people who will spend $500 and up per person on Christmas presents.  Wow---that can easily set one back thousands of dollars.

So---how about if you do  rather than buy?

Christmas Tree cutting day for us occurs the day after Thanksgiving.  Yes,  rather than spending the day after you've given thanks for all you have buying even more,  we go,  as a family,  out to the country,  to a tree farm,  and pick out our Christmas Tree.  Then we cut it down,  and this freshly cut tree will easily last into January.  Yeah,  stop with the complaining of,  "But the needles!  I'm getting an artificial tree!"

Wah!  Wah!  

Unless you are allergic,  there is nothing like a real Christmas Tree and the adventure in picking one out with the family.

Searching for the perfect tree.

One of my sons and my daughter have been opting for a table-top tree of late,  which were the popular trees of the Victorian period,  while my wife and I  (and my other son)  prefers a floor to ceiling spruce.  We decorate it in a more traditionally manner - less bulbs and more variety of ornaments,  such as woodland creatures,  birds,  gingerbread men and women,  bells,  musical instruments...and even a cannoli! - with candles carefully placed on the branches.  And,  yes,  I light them,  and have been doing so for over 35 years.

My grandkids in awe of their  Nonna & Papa's
candle lit Christmas Tree.

For the locals here in metro-Detroit,  for instance,  think about spending time at Holiday Nights at Greenfield Village where the entire 300 acres is decked out for Christmas or New Year's past.  At roughly $35 a ticket,  for a family of ten it is only $350.  And an evening of memories that won't soon be forgot!

Holiday Nights at Greenfield Village - Just like the ones you used to know?
Pic courtesy of Edie Stulz Wysocki

Then there is historic Crossroads Village,  which also has a very cool Christmas event,  including a Christmas train ride at roughly $24 a ticket. 

Those prices are not high in actuality,  especially when compared to the cheap products folks spend outrageous amounts of money on.  Or when compared to a single Detroit Lions ticket:  $115.  Yikes!  Imagine taking the family!  And that's not even including the price to park your car!

Christmas at Crossroads Village
Not so much historic as it is decorative

Yeah...I'll take the family memories any day.

Then there is the Holly Dickens Festival.

Here am I,  in merry old London town...er,  Holly.
At least,  it has a fair resemblance,  does it not?

What we have here in Michigan,  in the tiny Village of Holly,  about an hour north of  Detroit,  is the nation's oldest Dickens Festival.  'Tis true!  We have had the longest running Dickens Festival in the United States!  Yep--every Christmas for the past half century this Victorian village turns itself into merry old England of 1843,  where visitors can interact with Dickensian characters such as Ebenezer Scrooge.

When our kids were young we would go to the festival as visitors and really had a ball.  It only took a couple of years before I was ready and wanting to take part,  and for most of the years from 1998 through this year,  I have,  in some form or another,  been part of this wonderful festival.  I've sold chestnuts,  been a part of the  "Christmas Carol"  play,  a Dickensian roamer,  portrayed Charles Dickens as he wrote his most famous story,  and,  mostly and most recently,  head up my period vocal group Simply Dickens.

Simply Dickens at the Holly Dickens Festival 2022~
There is a connection between the festival's name and my group's name,  you know.
Old world Christmas music...

Which leads me to Christmas music:

Like you're in an old British pub

You see,  there is so much more Christmas music than Mariah Carey or  Rockin'  Around The Christmas Tree,  Jingle Bell Rock,  or songs about Frosty,  Santa,  Rudolph or anything of that sort;  I'm talking of the wonderful old carols with meaning such as God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,  Silent Night,  Deck the Hall,  O Holy Night...you know,  the more traditional carols sung in a traditional manner and not often played on the Christmas radio stations.  Better yet,  find these carols  (and others of this sort)  as instrumentals played on acoustic instruments.  And if you are feeling particularly traditional,  you can look for the more obscure music,  popular in their day but lost to most in our modern times,  such as Masters In This Hall,  Gloucestershire Wassail,  The Holly Bears a Berry,  and The Boar's Head Carol.  Music played on the hammered dulcimer in particular gives off a wonderful  Victorian  atmosphere.

I myself collect the old world carols,  and when I mix them in with Johnny Mathis or the Ray Conniff Singers,  I get a very diversified - some might even say eclectic - collection of Christmas sounds that won't make you say how tired you are of certain songs. 

It makes all the difference.

The CDs you see mixed in here are a few of my personal favorites - those of which can be found in my CD player quite often this time of year.

One of my instrumental favorites!

Country - not as in music but in a place -
very wooden.

Old world with a slight touch of new world

A very basic vocal collection

Next year - Christmas 2023 - Holly is planning a big 50th anniversary bash and already have told me they would like Simply Dickens to be a part!

Now what if you don't have such a festival in your own neck of the woods?

Try putting one together.  Gather up like-minded friends,  make a plan,  and do it.  It doesn't even have to be in a Victorian village - it can take place in a local park!  I know it's not that easy,  but I also know it's not that hard.  Thinking outside the box is what it is!

You can do some pretty cool things in your own home to make Christmas a bit more special for the family.  For instance,  how often have you returned home and just lit a candle on your table.  Perhaps you purchased one of the tin lanterns they sell at Greenfield Village or a wooden lantern from Samson Historical or Townsends and put a lit beeswax taper candle inside.  Just something so simple can create such an atmosphere,  even in your modern home with contemporary décor.  

Two lanterns and a wreath is all it took to create this traditionally vignette.
Yes,  the wreath is artificial.

In fact,  might I suggest that you stay away from the gaudy,  where there is a light or a plastic Santa or whatever in every available space?  The Victorians did decorate,  and,  yes,  they could at times border the gaudy.  But more often than not it was a more subtle form of decoration,  in a similar vein as the colonials.  Maybe a few sprigs of holly,  a wreath in your windows and on your door.  If you have a fireplace mantle you could spread greenery across that.  And,  of course,  the obligatory Christmas Tree. 

 

How about spending quality time with your kids,  grandkids,  siblings,  or whoever?

One of the traditions of  Christmas that goes back centuries is baking bread and,  more recently,  cookies.  My wife did this with our own children while they were growing up and now she does it with our grandchildren;  every Saturday before Christmas my home smells like a bakery!  

Can you just hear and see the happiness?
Can you smell the cookies baking in the oven?
The true joys of Christmas thaqt cannot be matched by any store-boughten presents.

And I'm the tester!

As for the Holiday feast itself,  my wife makes turkey - that's my preference - with all the fixings.  But she will either use an old recipe from years gone by or combine new and old,  such as with her stuffing.  Her stuffing is the best!  And she also makes wassail,  the fruit-flavored drink from the medieval period and continued in great popularity through the centuries.  Though in parts of the world wassail continues its popularity,  it really isn't very popular here in the US.  It is with us,  though,  and our kids,  grandkids,  and nephews & nieces all look forward to it every year.  In fact,  it wouldn't be Christmas in my family without it.

But this whole baking thing doesn't just have to be for kids - how about siblings and cousins, too?

It's a family affair,  you know.

I spy with my little eye:  my wife,  my son,  two nieces,  my sister,  two cousins, 
and a friend all baking/making cannoli shells together!  Such a festive gathering!

Then there are the Christmas gifts:

Well,  we are being sold the story that stores and society in general have come to depend on people spending their paychecks and racking up credit card bills in gift purchases: $300,  $400,  and even $500 or more per child or per family member is not unheard of.

But,  I have to say,  in my family it's not like that.  First off,  when our kids were young and still living at home,  we would spend just over a hundred bucks per child  (maybe $125),  as well as that amount on each other.  And neither my wife nor I ever got involved in those Secret Santa's gift exchange at work.

We weren't rich then and we certainly are not now.

You may say to me, "I could never buy what my kids want for Christmas for $125!"

So?  Get a credit card,  right?
Can't live without one,  you say,  right?
What if I told you we haven't had a credit card since the late 1990s - and no monthly bills to go with it either.

And yet,  we survive.

Not too many and each wrapped
in different sized boxes so no one
has any idea what lies inside!

One Christmas,  about 13 years ago,  I changed jobs in the fall and took a large pay cut to do so.  Ultimately,  there was a better opportunity for me.  Because of this,  money was at an all-time low,  and my wife and I,  who previously would spend the large amount of cash on our kids for gifts,  could not do it that year.  So,  we bought our children the two or three things each that we knew they would be happy with.  Come Christmas morning,  they were every bit as excited as if they received five times as many gifts!  Honest to God!  But,  how we opened the presents helped here as well:  one present at a time.  Child  "A"  opens his and we all watched and enjoyed what he received.  Then it's child  "B's"  turn to do the same,  and so on and so on.  This way,  everyone was able to see what everyone else got and get excited with them.  This also made the gift opening ceremony last longer and increased the anticipation.

Let me tell you - it WORKS!!! 

Getting a special not-too-expensive gift and a couple side gifts works!  And we continue in this manner to this day and include our grandkids in it.  I just can't see giving people a mess of gifts only to see them open them all at once and it be over in a matter of minutes.

Yep - everything is paid by cash or debit  (again,  no credit cards at all!).  We put the amount we plan to spend aside when we receive our income tax refund in the spring and do not touch it til late October,  when we're ready to begin the shopping.

You see,  we did  things throughout the holiday season as a family.  And that made / makes such a big difference.  When your own children don't want Christmas Day to come because all the fun would be over has really gotta tell you something.

By the way,  did I tell you of the cool gift I know I'm getting this year?

Well,  my son sadly mentioned for us not to get he or his wife anything for Christmas because they have no money to by Patty & I anything.  I told him that I think he can afford to get us something:  I then told him I would like a family gathering dinner in the dead of winter:  fresh-baked homemade hot bread and orzo soup.  He smiled and said,  "I can do that!"  I replied with,  "That's what I want."

Bam!

The main reason for this posting on how I create a traditional Christmas within my own  "hearth & home"  is due to the numerous queries I receive from various people - some who are living historians while others are modern folk. 

And,  so,  this is it.  

There are many who would like to do such a thing but won't,  a few out of fear of the unknown or fear of change.  I know this because they told me so themselves.  

But never fear,  for if it's not to your liking,  Christmas will return next year,  and you can change it right back.  However,  just remember my motto to spend less and do more---build up those memories for yourself  as well as for your loved ones.

That's one  "risk"  worth taking.

Memories are made of this:
My wife & I with our grandkids - December 2022

Now...one more thing,  for this post at least,  about Christmas that ties in to what this posting has been about.  My friend Jean recently wrote on her Facebook page:

"Sadly some are telling me they don't feel the Christmas spirit this year - here's my answer...

Christmas time is a gift    My husband is laid off,  we lost our beautiful van to a deer.  My husband's beautiful friend and co-worker died from cancer,  memorial was Saturday.  I had a stroke last month.  But here's the thing,  I am still standing.  I decorated fully  ( No body sees it).  We enjoy our favorite movies with popcorn and hot chocolate.  We dress the doggie in cute Christmas shirts.  I don't know when my last Christmas will be.  Maybe this is it,  who knows?  So put some spiced rum in your eggnog,  and count your blessings.   We made it through another year.

Joy is where you find it."

Many people responded very kindly in the comments.  

My response was:

"You,  my friend,  are the epitome of the Christmas Spirit.

Obviously,  though many may watch and love  "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"  or  "A Christmas Carol,"  but they completely ignore the messages:

'Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!  'Maybe Christmas,'  he thought,  'doesn't come from a store.  Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!' '

and

Reformed & happy Ebenezer Scrooge
on Christmas morning!

'...and to Tiny Tim,  who did not die,  (Scrooge)  was a second father.  He became as good a friend,  as good a master,  and as good a man,  as the good old city knew,  or any other good old city,  town,  or borough,  in the good old world.

...and it was always said of him,  that he knew how to keep Christmas well,  if any man alive possessed the knowledge.  May that be truly said of us,  and all of us!' "

For my wife and I,  Christmas was always  "a little bit more"  than what comes from a store.  No,  we're not cheap;  we just wanted to experience  Christmas. 
Much less stress,  much more happiness.
Merry Christmas.

Until next time,  see you in time.

To read more on historic colonial-era Christmas music,  please click HERE 

To read more on historic Christmas music from medieval through Regency,  please click HERE

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